Least Favorite Life

Huma got married to Hamad when she was just 20 years of age. She turned out to be a loving wife and a devoted mother. Hamad worked in an insurance company and was seldom free. Jamal was their only son. Three years ago, an unforgettable incident changed their lives forever. She still remembers even the minutest of details of that cursed day. Back then, Jamal had turned four and they celebrated his birthday at home. Jamal was a very intelligent and a naughty boy. He had recently been admitted to a nearby school. Huma often went to meet his teacher who was always very appreciative of his good habits. Huma wanted Jamal to do all what she could not do with her own life.

On that freakish Sunday morning, Jamal started insisting on going to sea view. Huma also liked the sea a lot. She always felt her heart opening up to the noisy incoming waves. Her eyes would try to capture the vast horizon spread across the sea. Her mind would drift to the mysterious far anchored ships and the life that dwelled underneath the sea. Squeaks of the flying birds gliding in the sea breeze played melodious tunes in her ears. She also loved to collect the seashells and keep them with other dry arrangements in her living room. She used to envy the people who lived near the sea but not anymore especially after that terrifying day. She never went to the sea again.      

Three years ago, it was a warm Sunday morning. Very soon, it was to turn into a nightmare. She woke up at 8 and got busy in completing various house chores. Hamad and Jamal were still asleep. Last night they went out to a nearby park where Jamal enjoyed the rides. Before returning home they had burgers from their favorite spot on Tariq road. She wanted to buy few things but kept quiet. She knew that Hamad would be tired as he worked six days a week. He had a habit of taking them out on Saturday night straight after coming back from work. He however did not like to be disturbed on Sunday which he mostly spent on taking rest and would go out in the evening to spend some time with his friends. Huma always kept that in mind. They were distant cousins and were happily married for eight years now. Jamal was their only child and they both loved him more than anything else in the world.

As a routine, they went to sea view once every year either on 2^nd day of Eid ul Fitr or on some other holiday. That year, they had already visited the sea on 14^th August. Only four months later, on that despicable Sunday morning, Jamal started insisting on going to sea view again. He had probably read some lesson on geography and his teacher had asked the children to go to sea view. Huma knew that already but she did not want to take anybody’s side. Hamad initially refused as he had no plans of getting out of his bed that day but then succumbed to his only child’s persistent and somewhat annoying wish. They all consumed their breakfast at about 11 am and then started preparing for a day at sea. If only Huma knew what was to happen to them in next few hours then surely she would have not set foot out of her house.      

At 1.30 pm, they were at the sea view. After parking the bike, Hamad, Huma and Jamal went to the beach. Due to Sunday, beach was over crowded. Jamal saw a dune buggy and started insisting on taking its ride. There was space for only one passenger on the buggy. Hamad took Jamal in his lap and they left Huma at the same spot and went for a ride. Huma saw them going for a while and then got absorbed in the vastness of sea. She could not take her eyes off from the incoming foamy waves. She sat on the nearby stairs and started thinking of the first time ever she came to this place. It seemed like a distant past, some other life time. She had though reconciled with her present life but sometimes she did imagine living in the castle and riding a white stallion. Her heart so wanted to get a horse ride at sea view but could never gather enough courage to bring her deep rooted wish to her lips. This did not seem to be her world. This did not seem to be her life.

Huma woke up from her dream by a hoarse voice of a shemale beggar who was now shaking her shoulder. She looked around puzzlingly and realized that a lot of time has passed. She glanced at her mobile to check the time and it was now 3.12 pm. It was certainly more than thirty minutes ago that Hamad and Jamal went on a dune buggy ride.

“They should have been back by now.”

She thought for a while and started looking for them. The beach was full of people. She could not see any familiar face. She unlocked her mobile again to check any missed calls or messages. There was none. She then dialed Hamad’s number and a voice message informed her that the number she is trying to reach is turned off.  She dialed Hamad’s number couple of times again but got the same message. She was now worried sick. Tears started pouring out from her eyes. There were so many people there and she felt lost. Her heartbeat was racing fast and she could not think straight. She then thought of the place where they had parked the bike. She hurried back to the parking area and after sometime spotted their bike. It was still there. She took a little sigh of relief but it only lasted a short while. She was standing near the bike thinking that Hamad will come back to this place for sure but she did not know that Hamad was not there anymore.

She waited there for almost an hour before calling her brother Taimur. He also got worried. He told her to keep dialing Hamad’s number and stay there. Taimur lived in Gulshan e Iqbal which was quite far off but he took less than 45 minutes to reach there on his motorbike. Huma was still there but was now totally freaking out. In the meantime, she learnt from a policeman that there had been an accident of a dune buggy at the beach in which a man and a small boy got seriously injured. They were evacuated to some hospital. The policeman did not have any further information. Huma was about to collapse when her brother reached in the parking area and saw her standing near a bike. Huma informed him about the accident. Taimur told her to wait there and rushed towards the beach to inquire himself about the buggy accident. He returned after ten minutes and told her that the news is correct. The injured were taken to Jinnah hospital. He was though surprised as to how did Huma missed such a scene happening in her nearby vicinity. She could not tell her brother about the world she was dreaming at that very moment. She was feeling so embarrassed and scared that she started crying. Taimur told the parking guys to take care of the Hamad’s bike and took Huma straight to the emergency of Jinnah hospital. They reached there in twenty minutes. From the reception, they got the information that both father and son are in critical condition and are being operated upon simultaneously by two teams of surgeons. Huma could not take it anymore. She collapsed.

The white horse was galloping at full speed in the vast green land. She could hazily see her castle in the far distance. She turned her head behind while bouncing the reins. The hounds were still chasing her. The scary barking sound was coming nearer. She had gone in the woods to a forbidden place. It was a small lake in center of the jungle. There was a myth that if you throw a stone in the lake then your one wish comes true. She had gone to that lake and threw the stone, and made a wish. She wished for her loved ones to survive the ordeal. She was a princess of the Wonderland. It was her world. She was living her most favorite life. But there had been an accident. Her prince charming and their only son had fallen from the horse. They were in grave danger. She went to the lake and had thrown the stone but now she was being chased by ferocious hounds. She was riding the fastest horse of her kingdom.

“Will I be able to out run these wild dogs and reach my destination in one piece? Will my visit to lake be of some use? Will my loved ones will survive the tragic accident?”

Her mind was flooded with bizarre thoughts while she was also trying to concentrate on keeping a safe distance from following creatures. She turned her head back and was horrified to see them up close. They were three and she could now see their red eyes and big fangs. She turned her head in front. Castle gate was approaching fast. The guards on gate had seen her and the following wildlings. She could see them straightening their arrows. They were helpless as she was in between them and the hounds, and they could not take the risk of hurting their princess. She could see the castle gate opening up. She pushed herself forward in the saddle and whipped her horse. She could feel the white stallion slowing down a bit. Her heart was racing fast. She could now hear their rattling breaths. She started whipping the horse mercilessly and turned her head back. The leading beast had jumped up in the air and was inches away from her. Their eyes met. A chilly cold wave traveled down her spine. She forgot to breathe and closed her eyes. Before the jumping hound could slash her head with its claws, an arrow came from the castle gate and went through its throat. She heard its squealing snarl and opened her eyes.

She saw the ceiling fan with a gigantic spider web. She got a little confused. Suddenly she remembered the bloodcurdling eyes of the hound and all her senses got heightened. She started looking around. She was lying on a small bed with lot of other people in the room. She had yet to reconcile that it was not her kingdom. She was in Jinnah hospital. Her husband and their only son were fighting the battle of their survival. They had met an accident at sea view. She knew all that but her mind was playing tricks. Her subconscious had adopted some defense mechanism to deny the reality. She closed her eyes again and went back into her dream. The real world was not what she ever wanted.

Three years down the line, Huma was normal again. She still sometimes dives into the fantasy realm of her dreams, where she lives in a castle and rides a white stallion. The episodes of her illusions are getting shorter and less frequent. She is undergoing a regular psychological treatment. She realizes that the best medicine of all her illness lies within her soul. Her unfulfilled wishes and unsatisfied desires are far too many. The trauma she underwent on that shocking Sunday served as a trigger to her fallacies. Jamal was now seven years old and studying in class two. He had made a full recovery from the accident just like his father. They both resumed their routine and did everything possible to keep her happy. The only person who had yet to recover from that Sunday tragedy was her. She perhaps did not want to return back to reality. This was her least favorite life.

Nadeem Alam

Abbottabad, 20 Feb 2019