When not to speak...

Communication is perhaps the most important of all the skills which distinguishes humans from other forms of life.

We can learn from our predecessors, contribute our bits to the existing knowledge, convince or get convinced, establish rapports and enjoy better relationships, share our emotions, and progress through our lives and careers, all with kind courtesy of an efficient human communication system.

Communication is however a two way process. It is twenty percent talking and eighty percent listening. It is in fact mastering the art of when to speak and when to listen and remain quiet. The later attains more importance and is a key factor for succeeding in your professional lives.

Let’s see few quotes on silence from some great people in the history:

• Say what is good or remain silent. (Prophet Muhammad saw, Tirmidhi)
• I have never regretted my silence. (Hazrat Umer)
• Silence can sometimes be the most powerful reply. (Hazrat Ali)
• Silence is a true friend who never betrays. (Confucius)
• Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. (Josh Billings)
• Silence is better than unmeaning words. (Pythagoras)
• Silence is one of the great arts of conversation. (MT Cicero)
• My personal hobbies are reading, listening to music, and silence (Edith Sitwell)
• Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence. (Leonardo de Vinci)

Silence is all good but what are the special occasions where silence proves its worth. Here is a list of few such scenarios where you must not speak:

• When you do not possess adequate knowledge on the subject under discussion.
• If there are few very senior people sitting in the gathering.
• When opinion is asked from some other person.
• When an argument is getting out of control then better lose an argument instead of losing a friend.
• Do not interrupt a speaker.
• When you think the gathering is much below your level of intellect.
• Don’t think out loud. Keep your vague thoughts to yourself.
• In the work place setting, it’s better to remain reserved then to mix up with everyone and reveal your true emotions about company policies or bosses. Rest assured, your opinion will reach every corner of your workplace on the very same day. Build up a network and coalitions with positive and constructive energy instead of cribbing and negative sentiments.   

And then there are some occasions where you should not remain silent and must speak your heart out, like:-

• When your opinion is asked and you have something worthwhile to say.
• When question is being raised on your integrity or character then silence implies confession.
• When someone needs a word of encouragement then don’t become a miser. 

Remember the rule of silence: whenever in doubt about whether to speak or not, the best course of action is to remain silent.

Written By: Nadeem Alam Awan