Feast

I was walking down a desert track. Hot but gentle wind was blowing. From level of the track, my visibility was highly restricted due to the dunes spread all around me. The dunes presented a gentle slope from the direction of wind and were steep from the other side. To get a better picture of the surroundings, I decided to leave the track and climb up some big dune. Track itself was quite firm but sand astride the track was loose. I was wearing a casual blue jeans with a striped tee shirt and sports shoes. I exactly remembered who I was but just could not think as to what I was doing at this place? Sun was blistering hot. Temperature had peaked to an unbearable level. Every step which I was taking was draining my energy and making my lips drier. I stopped and started to think.

“Did I come with some friends on a hunting trip and got lost somehow?”

“Was I on desert safari or some other kind of freak adventure I usually took with my friends?”

As I reached on top of the dune, the only thing I could see in all four directions was more dunes. The track on which I was travelling was lost as well. My frustration was now turning into anxiety. I never had a panic attack ever in my life but my heartbeat was now racing fast. I had a logical mind. I sat down on top of the dune and started to contemplate. I knew I had very little time left before I get exhausted and dehydrated. I had to save my breadth and wait for the sun to set. I had good knowledge of stars which I could utilize to get out of this freaky place in cold weather of the night.

Sun was on top of my head. There was no shade anywhere. Even my own body did not caste any shadow. There was no use of going down the dune and wasting more energy. So, I kept sitting there and covered my head with the tee shirt. I checked all pockets of the jeans but found nothing. I had no sign of any physical injury either. It was kind of strange. I was thinking straight but had no clue of how I reached here. There were few vivid memories but I started recalling things which I remembered precisely.

My name is Kamal Khan. I am 38 years old and am a happily married man. I love my wife and my two daughters. I am a major shareholder of a private business of exports and imports with my college buddies Aftab and Faheem. I have a big social circle. I like adventure sports and often go out with friends to explore new challenges of life. Some of my adventure might have gone wrong and it seemed to be the only plausible reason for me to be wandering in the desert like this.

I then tried to imagine faces of people in my life and nothing. Panic started to creep in. My mouth and throat were now completely dry. As per my estimation, I had spent couple of hours but the sun did not seem to have moved even an inch. It was still right over my head. I stood up and there was still no shadow. My mind now suggested me to start moving. If the sun is static here then there is no point of wasting more time by staying at the same place.

“Why the sun is not moving? Am I on some other planet?” I had seen lot of science fiction movies. But I can’t possibly be on another planet because it does not make any sense. In the meantime, I got down from the dune. I looked around but could not find the track. With the sun right on my head, there was no way of knowing the direction of north.

Suddenly I saw a shiny surface in the far distance. It looked like a small lake of water. I was well aware that it was the sunlight reflected from the sand grains. But there was a false ray of hope. With no other option to explore, I started walking towards the mirage. I kept my pace slow deliberately because I did not want to rapidly lose my body liquids. I was already sweating due to excruciating heat and I did not want to speed up this process. I had started feeling thorns in my throat. My saliva had dried up completely. While walking patiently, I looked up to see the imaginary water. Instead, I saw a women standing at some distance. I could only see a silhouette due to the bright sunlight reflecting back from her. She started looking familiar as I get closer. She was standing still. Her lovely blonde hair were flying in the air. I saw her face and for a moment my mind went blank but then a light sparked in my head and I recognized her. She was Beena, the love of my life. Impatiently, I started running towards her. My heart was pounding heavily. I just wanted to touch her and hold her for one last time. As I reached closer, she disappeared in the thin air. All my happiness and excitement vanished too. But then I thanked God that she was not physically present at this forsaken place. Another flash of light, and I started remembering when I proposed to Beena.

Beena, Aftab and Faheem were cousins. Beena started liking me as soon as I joined their college. On her insistence, Aftab and Faheem officially embraced me and welcomed me in their trio. We were now a square. We all wore red caps as our signature dress especially on sunny days. Everyone back then called us Red Square. Four years passed in blink of an eye. It was our last day in college and no one knew what we would do in future. But I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I just wanted to get married to Beena. Our whole class was gathered in the college hall. We were being given a farewell party. After some routine speeches, few funny skits and some boring songs, students started chanting my name, asking me to sing. Well, I was a good singer at least in the college. So, I gladly obliged them. The show did not end at one song but after three songs I invited Beena to join me. She could sing a bit too. She showed some hesitancy but everyone forced her to join me. We both sang, ‘Give me some sunshine.’ At some moment, the whole class started singing with us. As the song finished, everyone was clapping and shouting. Then I suddenly sat down on my knee and the hall went mum. It was certainly a pin drop silence. I could literally hear the clock ticking. Beena was looking puzzlingly at me with her wild ecstatic eyes. Still holding mic in my hand, I popped up the question,

“Will you marry me and make you the luckiest person in the world?”  

Beena was mesmerized. She probably did not expect such a theatrical trek from me. There were however few Yeses from the hall but Beena ran off from the stage without saying a word. I was hugely embarrassed but holding my nerve I asked in the mic, ‘who said yes from the hall?’ The crowd burst into laughter. There was cheering and clapping, and I disappeared behind the stage. Next day, I went to Beena’s house with my parents and ask her hand again. This time she does not refuse. Neither Aftab nor Faheem attended our marriage.

The next image I recall was wearing groom’s dress and walking towards my newlywed bride. She was looking stunning, elegant and dazzling. Her white gorgeous tulle made her look like a sparkling mermaid. I closed the door and started walking slowly towards her. My feet began to sink in the floor. I used my full strength to move ahead but my whole body started turning into sand and I felt myself scattering all around. I woke up with a jerk. I was lying on the hot sand. Sun was still on top of my head. I was dehydrated. I could hardly breathe. My head got dizzy and I lost my conscious again.

I now remembered everything. After my father’s untimely death, I took over his business but soon I had to adjust as per the market trends. I needed heavy investment and on insistence of Beena, I took Aftab and Faheem as my partners. I still owned 51% of the shares and had two votes in board of directors. With Beena on my side as third vote, I was always able to make all major business decisions. Then came a time when Seth Abid wanted to buy our business. He put across a bid which was almost double of our net worth. Aftab and Faheem wanted to avail this golden opportunity but I opposed it. In my opinion, selling our profitable business was like cutting a goose which laid golden eggs. Beena was still on my side and I had three votes against their two. So my decision was likely to prevail until they planned an office party at our beach hut. I reached there with Beena. I wore my blue jeans and striped tee shirt with sports shoes. I had plans of going for a long walk on beach.

After the party, Faheem and Aftab started to convince me again to sell the company. I plainly refused. I was however a little confused because Beena sat quietly the whole time. She had always openly supported my view point on all previous occasions. This time, it was different. She was avoiding eye contact with me. Something was wrong. Caretaker of the beach hut was also sent home by Aftab. Now we were the only four left there. My sixth sense was warning me to flee the place but Beena insisted on staying for a while. It was getting dark. I finally announced that I am leaving when Beena brought me a glass of fresh juice. She told me to relax and went in a room to change. Before closing the door, she told me to finish the juice and then we will leave. I carried the juice and came out of the hut. I was looking at the dying sun and thinking my next strategy to deal with this new challenge. I took few sips of the juice and started feeling dizzy. Soon, I became unconscious and was lying motionless on the sand.  

At some point of time, I felt being carried away. It was dark but I could hear stormy noise of ocean waves. I first thought that probably medical help has arrived and I am being taken to an ambulance. But soon I got a clearer picture. I opened my eyes and saw Aftab and Faheem carrying me, and Beena guiding them with a torch. I was unable to move or resist. I was drugged heavily. They probably must have injected more drug in my blood stream after I collapsed with initial dose from fruit juice. After carrying for a while on beach, they started climbing up the rocks. By then I exactly knew as to what was going on. I was helpless but frustrated. I never expected Beena to side with them. But she carried their blood. I should have known better. They threw me in the blazing sea from top of the rocks.

I opened my eyes once again only to find sun on top of my head. I was lying on hot sand. My mouth was completely dry and salty. This time, I could also see vultures circling over my head. There were few on sand inching towards me from all directions. I felt deep desire from my survival instinct to get up and run but I refused to obey. Life was now meaningless. Love had lost. I had already been abrogated. I closed my eyes and waited for the vultures to join the feast.                   

Written By: Nadeem Alam
Sep 2019

Published in Mag